What's next?

There have been many things on my mind these days - the future, jobs, relationships, weather, etc etc. I suppose at this stage in my life those things are normal, right? I'm finishing up my master's dissertation by the 12th of August (or else) and after that...I have absolutely no idea. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

And for the first time in my life, I'm completely okay with that. Well, most of the time :]] Every once in a while I start to run through the "what-ifs" and "but what nows" and all that, but most of the time I'm pretty sound with the idea that my lease ends August 31st and, as of this moment, I don't know what comes next. It's a bit of a liberating feeling. I could be back in the US, I could stay here in Ireland, I could end up somewhere half a world away with an opportunity I haven't even heard of yet. The possibilities are so broad, so vast, so endless...it boggles my mind. Who am I to have all of this before me? What have I done so right to end up here, standing on the edge of the very great unknown, with seemingly limitless potential all around me? I'm not scared of this unknown; I revel in it.

For my whole life, I've been told by my family and close friends that I could do anything I wanted to when I grew up; anything. That's a pretty monumental statement to make, now that I look back on it. There's a very small percentage of the population of this entire globe who can rightly make that claim - I was born into freedom, I was blessed with supportive parents who made my education possible, I have a pinch of intelligence, and I was born into privileged social, cultural and ethnic categories. All of those things were beyond my control, but because of those factors and a host of others, here I am. I've heard that less than one percent of the global population attain an undergraduate diploma and, at 23, I'll have my postgraduate (given all goes well!) diploma in hand.

I feel fortunate, lucky, blessed, and so very very loved. The people who I have met and become close with throughout this life have been so incredibly instrumental to getting me where I am. Each of them helped me through some moment or another that I couldn't have weathered alone, and I am eternally grateful. All of this makes me want to do one thing - give back.

So I suppose, for now, that's my direction into this unknown stitch in time: whatever comes on 1st September (other than the anniversary of the birth of the most amazing mom on the planet) will be something that will help me give back. No matter where I find myself and or what job I end up doing, I will fill my life with moments to provide the support and love I've been so very fortunate to receive for the past 22+ years. I want to be a shoulder for people, an ear to listen, a volunteer in as many ways possible. I don't ever want to stop being known as the girl who gives the best hugs.

I want to hug the whole world, because it's hugged me my whole life.

The title of this blog seems so very appropriate now, it just made me laugh. :]]

So as I sit here and muse away (when I should really be writing my personal and professional development reflection for my dissertation), I'm content in knowing that I DO have a plan for what comes after August 31st. I'll fill my days with love and giving back to the world from now until the end, because I can think of nothing more fitting to do with a life.

This world may have it's ugly moments, friends, that much I know. But when you look past the dust and the cracks, it's a gorgeous place on the inside. Together we can keep it that way.

Here's to a life of living, loving, laughing, giving and, most importantly, hugging.

xxooo

shawna